One of the earliest clichés I ever heard, and stuck with much of my youth, was that “a man doesn’t pay for a cow when he gets milk for free”. This adage is useful in a way: it gets girls to abstain from sex out of shame and the idea that the man is using a woman for his own gratification and that she is of no use to him after that.
Relationships provide a breeding ground for stereotypes, I’m sure we’ve all heard of the many “great wisdom” passed down through countless generations under the guise of a prominent partner. More cliches have emerged over the years. But it’s 2021 and some of those stereotypes are gone. Let’s take a look at some of them:
1. Love conquers all.
This has been proven wrong time and time again, and you should respectfully step back from the list of stereotypes you use in relationships. You can’t love someone into treating you better, or contributes to a relationship, or make sacrifices for your family. Love doesn’t pay bills or do the dishes. The belief that love conquers all has kept people in relationships that should have broken up a long time ago. This leads people to believe that there may be something wrong with them because their love doesn’t magically solve the problems in their relationship.
Love often doesn’t solve all problems. It’s important to work with your partner to achieve the relationship you want, rather than locking up the whole relationship just for love.
2. What is yours cannot be taken from you.
This cliché encourages passivity in relationships. You will most likely take this advice if you are worried about a relationship or confused about things going on in your relationship. When people tell you this, they want to cheer you on. It also helps you accept whatever disaster or painful situation you are in. In modern relationships, it is very important not to leave things to the divine and the mysteries of the world. Don’t avoid critical conversation because you believe that what is about to happen will happen.
3. Opposites Always Attracts.
This causes more heartache, perhaps more than others. Many people immerse themselves in the murky waters of toxic relationships because they believe that if they want peace, their ideal partner must like chaos. Or if they want to save, their match has to be a spender. Opposites are unattractive, and people with similar interests enjoy more loving and lasting relationships than those who constantly seek to appreciate or support their partner’s opposing interests.
4. There are many fishes in the sea.
No, no. At least not in a sea of relationships. As you might expect, there will always be exciting opportunities, but dating sites are still full of people looking for love. Finding a partner is not an easy task despite the fact that there are 7 billion people on earth.
This is the cliché you use when a friend comes out of an awkward breakup and you really want to encourage them to feel better. However, it’s becoming clear that while this well-meaning statement leads to someone going out, having fun, and looking for more creative connections, it may not be accurate.
5. Never go to bed angry.
If you asked most couples the secret to their permanent marriage, you would elicit this response: “We never go to bed angry.” It’s not always true
This can be exhausting and lead to feelings of guilt. This must mean sweeping things under the rug or honestly staying up late trying to talk to a partner who doesn’t want to talk at all. Or what if you need help feeling better about the whole situation in the morning? Couples’ advice never to go to bed angry is not always true, some arguments or conflicts are more complex than others and take time for both parties to work things out gradually. But advising people to never go to bed angry can cause even more problems for the partners. The accumulation of unresolved conflicts does not build a good relationship.
6. You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself.
This is not entirely true because many people have succeeded in loving others completely even after experiencing things that made them feel insecure or broken. People can love their partners and even be fully present in a relationship without loving themselves. Spouses of people who commit suicide continue to say that because they can relieve their pain and participate in the relationship, they will find no signs in their partner. This is because a person’s ability to love is often not hindered by personal struggles.
7. Once they cheat, they will cheat again.
This cliché can work if you’re sensitive to a pattern and the person you’re with regularly cheats on you. But once it happens, and the person has demonstrated the ability to turn over a new leaf and see the consequences the emotional abuse caused you, it can be said that this cliché is not true. Cheating people are often selfish. It is reasonable to say that these stereotypes are not effective in encouraging a person to decide whether or not to stick with the cheating person.